Media has had an effect on interpersonal communication and culture, but to what extent? Children live in a world where they can be taught by characters on television and people have the ability to translate their self-concepts into online characters in place of having real, meaningful relationships.
The ability to send text messages and e-mails is useful, but can circumnavigate what could be a face-to-face conflict, for a time. Have these advances brought people closer in this ever-shrinking world, or are they enabled to be more secluded because of them? Interpersonal relationships could be threatened by overuse of computer mediated communication forms. There also appears to be an element of egocentricity when extensively communicating in mediated form.
In the ever-expanding wake of new technology, many devices are becoming substitutes for face-to-face communication, and it could be killing relationships. Choosing SMS or e-mail over a phone call or dyadic communication could be out of a fear of rejection.
It is non-confrontational and a form of environmental control, though it is a good way to manage communication and to keep in contact with more people than one would normally be in proximity with on a daily basis. It is a great way for family and friends who live far away to keep a closer contact than could otherwise be possible. These technologies can keep us connected, but can be overused, replacing real-life relationships with imitations.
Communication Barriers
Communicating this way is liable to create negative climates and defensiveness as tones can be easily misinterpreted depending on how each person translates a message. There are quite a few stories about women that had been on the receiving end of a text from a significant other that, in relation to respect, should have been said in person.
Not all were negative messages. One was a couple that had been dating for six months and the girl was ecstatic when he finally said “I love you” except that as she stared at her cellphone she began to feel cheated that he had chosen to say it that way. (USAToday.com, Can Love Bloom In a Text Message?) In this instance she didn’t feel respected, as if he were not taking her feelings seriously.
SMS Messages and Confrontation
There was an article in the Scotsman from the March 13, 2004 issue, written by Emma Cowing and Angie Brown, entitled “Text Culture Bad for Relationships”. They wrote about a woman that had been “sacked” by her husband of 27 years through a text message and how she won a compensation of £2,638 because of it.
Psychologist Dr Jack Boyle said: "People don't want to convey bad news face to face and so resort to other modern methods such as texting, e-mailing and even faxing. However, people want to be told personally so that they have a chance to respond and talk about deep emotions." (Scotsman, “Text Culture Bad for Relationships”)
Amanda Pressner wrote a similar article in the January 29, 2006 issue of USAToday.com called “Can Love Bloom in a Text Message?” She wrote, “Though men primarily use messaging as a tool for managing their relationships, women often view text as another way to foster emotional interaction, according to UK research, and though both sexes will revise plans, break dates or even end relationships over text, "men are a lot more likely to do so," says Simeon Yates of Sheffield Hallam University, the study's lead researcher. He says the text gets the point across "without a lengthy and uncomfortable explanation."
Respect and Text Messaging
Etiquette expert Ceri Marsh, co-author of The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum, has a less tolerant view of the text-as-courting ritual. "It's a pretty bad sign if the person pursuing you can't be bothered to pick up the phone and ask you out," she says. "The person is showing you they're not really ready to get involved." (USAToday.com, Can Love Bloom in a Text Message?)
She agrees that text can be a good icebreaker and handy for relaying such things as a time change. But she says it should not be used for more emotional messages.
"Couples have arguments over text because of a simple misunderstanding in wording or tone. They'll say 'What exactly did you mean by that emoticon?' Technology may change," she says "But thoughtfulness never goes out of style."
This type of technology is quickly evolving into an accepted form of communicating. As for the field of communication studies, it will be interesting to see the effects on relationships and culture 20 years from now in reference to these types of technologies. Effective communication involves effort. Barriers can be overcome by retaining courtesy and importance of real face-to-face relationship. As John Donne once said, "No man is an island."
Olivia Benson - Olivia Benson has been writing full-time since 2010, though it’s a craft she’s been passionate about since she figured out how ...
